Uranium

Unrefined Nuclear Material Makes An Interesting Time, Be It Uranium Or Plutonium

You've finally found it! That yellow golden flake of unrefined Uranium sits on the ledge as you watch proudly. Last weeks cave in surely messed up the mining schedule and unfortunately someone's going to have to carry the Uranium back with bare hands.

It may not be ideal but ever since that wild rooster broke in and chewed up the gloves there's been a shortage of health and safety equipment in the foremans office. Seeing as we're only meant to be mining coal this could easily turn into a big media scandal. You'll have to keep your mouth shut!

We've decided as a team, it's best you take the Uranium and run for the exit. You should probably also take your shoes off while you're at it. If you could cartwheel 1 handed as you pick up the Uranium ore that'd also be greatly appreciated... is this thing on?

Be sure to dodge the rusty mining scaffolding and be careful how long you hold the Uranium for. You just might be fissile material inadvertently setting off a spontaneous chain reaction of nuclear energy causing multiple cancerous grows accelerating biological metamorphosis into a cocooning period of which the exit point is forever unknown.

You just might end up a great big 12 legged beast, glowing green in the night and blue during the day depending on your mood and digestive tract!

If anyone learns we're mining Uranium down here we'll be in big trouble and have a harder time getting it cleared through customs on its way to our foreign partners. If all else fails we'll torch the whole lot and call it a day but be sure to fend off any reporters you see with an "I do not recall".

Take note of your Geiger counter reading, that Uranium will build up over time. Slowly but surely... Watches synchronized? And go...